Alright, ladies, this is where Sassy gets serious. By viewing this website and/or purchasing products from Sassy Minerals, you have agreed to the following:
Physical/Intellectual Property & Copyright
This is our stuff. It's the result of hours of hard work and determination, no matter how fun it looks. Don't try passing our products off as your own; we can spot Sassy at 50 paces. Don't steal any part of this website (trademarks, text, graphics, logos, icons, images, layout, audio/video clips, digital downloads, data compilations, software, nothing). And don't go using it as part of your plan for world domination. This company is like our cub, and we're the mama bear. You do NOT want to get between us. If there's anything left of you after we're through, then the guys at the U.S. and international copyright and trademark agencies take over. We hear they're ex-KGB.
Product Accuracy
We try to be as accurate as possible when describing or representing our products. I mean, they're fabulous, and pictures don't really do them justice, but we try. However, Sassy Minerals does not warrant that the product descriptions, colors or other content on the website are accurate, complete, reliable, current or error-free. We're human. Sensational, but still human.
Warranties & Limitation of Liability
What you see is what you get. These products are "as is," though we must note that Sassy's "as is" is super awesome. We don't warranty the products for their merchantability, non-infringement or fitness for a particular purpose. And Sassy Minerals is not liable for any direct, indirect, special, incidental or consequential damages of any kind from the use, misuse or inability to use these products. We will feel sorry for you, but in no way shall Sassy Minerals' total liability exceed the amount you paid for the product(s). And people, listen up: these products are cosmetics. They don't diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. We straight?
Submissions
We love to hear from you! Of course, any unsolicited suggestions, comments, information, ideas, concepts, materials, testimonials or techniques you send our way become our property. While it requires something like 26 legal terms to accurately describe (you grant us irrevocable, royalty-free, nonexclusive, transferable, perpetual and fully sublicensable right to use, modify, reproduce, sell, adapt, publish, translate, assign, create derivative works from, distribute and display such information in any form, media, or technology), the jist is this: You relinquish all rights to the information. But don't worry, we'd never use anything you send us inappropriately.
Legal Jurisdiction
So let's pretend we get into a dispute. The laws of the United States and the State of Wisconsin shall govern any such dispute as if the Terms of Use were a contract wholly entered into and wholly performed within the United States and State of Wisconsin. If any provision of the Terms of Use is found to be invalid by any court having jurisdiction, then that provision shall not affect the validity of any remaining provisions (make sense?). And seeing as Wisconsin is the Badger State and America's Dairyland, we're apt to set our rabid, moody badger on you. Should that fail, we'll eat some more cheese and sit on you. Don't cross us.
International Clientele
Yep, you too have to comply with applicable local laws, even though you're accessing this site from thousands of miles away. Sassy Minerals makes no representation that materials on this site are appropriate for use in other locations and, obviously, access to products from territories where the contents are illegal is prohibited. Oh, and any taxes, tariffs and duties imposed by customs are all you, sugar.
Ordering Policies & Your Account
Again, let us say that you cannot go ordering our samples and/or products and then sell or resell them without explicit written consent from Sassy. Not online/online auctions, not at the mall, not on TV programs, etc. In order to protect our intellectual property rights (see above), orders must be limited to no more than ten (yes, that's 10) units of any one item per order. You may, of course, purchase Sassy Minerals products and give them as gifts, which we think is a fantastic idea and will secure your place in the heart of the recipient. Also, all orders must be a minimum of US $1. As for that marvelous time-saver known as your Sassy online account: You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your account username and password. Don't let some stranger hop on your laptop order a bunch of our goodness, charge it to your account and ship it to her place, because you're still going to have to pay. Finally, Sassy Minerals reserves the right to cancel an order, refuse service, terminate your account and/or refuse to ship to certain addresses without further notice, though we will always attempt to notify you. We're nice that way.
Links
We occasionally use our website to link to other pages on the Internet. This is for your convenience, so don't go figuring we've endorsed the content, products, materials or services on those pages. And once you're on another website, you're in charge of reviewing the terms of use and privacy policies of that site. Not that they'll be anywhere near this entertaining.
We Change It, You Like It
Oh, and we reserve the right to modify these Terms of Use and the website content, including product prices and availability, whenever we feel like it. We think change is good, and since you're Sassy, we're guessing you do, too.
Violators will be Sorry
Should you choose to violate these Terms of Use, then you better watch your back. Because you are hereby liable for all losses and damages caused to our bear cub, Sassy Minerals, and we're gonna string you out via our crack team of Sassified attorneys.
Got that, sweethearts? Alright, then. Peace.
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